A broken Hallelujah
by Firenze.Sun
Summary: Cas is human. Sam is dying. Lucifer (and Michael) are about to be set free. Demons arise and the Croatans virus is a threat. Apparently, no matter how many details things Dean have changed, things end at the same place. Will there be a way to avoid things getting as in the Endverse? Will Dean be able to save his brother and confront his feelings about Cas?
1. Hopelessly Human

**I had first decided not to publish this work until I had everything finished, but as this is my attempt at how series 9 and 10 should be (if they're utterly compressed into 14 episodes), I wanted to publish it before season 9 airs, and my writing is slowlier than I thought.**  
**Anyway, I hope that you get hooked, and bear with me this writing through the semester (I thought you're patient because when exams come writing will come slowler).**  
**That said, when reading, remember that English is not my first language, therefore, you might find some vocabulary or grammatical errors as I have no Beta.**

**Every chapter is titled after a Kansas song. To see the post with the lyrics of the song and/or the meaning behind the song, here:**  
**(By the way, Hopoplessly Human, that's a bit obvious, right?)**

**This is not going to be a happy story. As it comes very close to the Endverse, it will be full of angst, unsaid stuff, repressed feelings and sad moments. It will have smut and happy fluffy moments, but as we learned in Supernatural for every laugh there's ten hours of crying, so...**  
**I started this story with one propmt: "Cas can't see Dean's soul anymore", and with that a whole plot blossomed.**  
**I'll leave you to the reading.**

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**Chapter 1**

**Hopelessly Human**

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The smell of ozone, from his fallen brothers and sisters, was still strong in the air. He forced himself to look at the sky that had cast down his family, and he walked. Orientation wasn't as before, as human, he wasn't connected anymore to the Earth and his Father's creations. He was alone, trapped in a limited brain, and even the thought process required to get to the knowledge of the star map and analyze it, was slow.

He walked with one set in mind. One person that he wanted to see. One human. He ignored the hunger in his stomach, the ache in his tired muscles. And when sleep came and tried to claim him, he ignored it too. He had felt lost and sad and tiny, part of him had wanted to die. But when the thought of Dean had appeared in his mind, he recovered his strength. He had to see him. He wasn't going to ask him for his help, he knew that he didn't deserved it. He wasn't going to give him any explanation either, there was no justification for what he did. He was just going to see him, and maybe say goodbye. He owed him that much to him.

When he reached the first populated are, Cas realized that he couldn't tell if they were humans or demons anymore. All he could see was the meat, he realized how weak he was. And for the first time in his existence, he knew what fearing for himself was.

The second day of walking was coming to an end, the sun long gone from the sky, when he arrived. His whole body ached, and raising his fist to knock at the door seemed too much. But he remembered being tortured in Heaven for trying to serve Dean instead of 'God'. He had endured that, and Dean had proved to be worthy and so much more. So he could do this.

With white knuckles from the cold, he knocked at the door of the Bunker.

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Dean took down another gulp of whiskey. His little brother was dying and his best friend was gone, probably dead. He put the cold glass in his forehead, trying to calm down his raising thoughts. It didn't help at all, of course. Because the facts didn't change. He didn't have a clue of how to help Sam with the effects of the trials. And this time, he didn't have Bobby to call him for help or to just contain him. He was alone with no one to pray to. Because even if by some miracle Cas was still alive, well, he was either ignoring him or he was no longer an angel.

He took some more whiskey while a silent tear came down his face. And when all the emotions of sorrow translated themselves into anger, he wanted to throw away the glass against the wall. But he wouldn't do it, that would stir Sam awake, who already had trouble sleeping as it was. With a sigh he pressed the glass harder against his forehead. And that's when he heard it. A couple of knocks against the door of the Bunker.

Despite the alcohol, he was sharp, it took more than a couple of shots of whiskey to put him lightheaded. So he grabbed his gun and went to open the door. He wasn't waiting for anybody. And if it was that damn Kevin kid, then he and him were going to share a few words.

Carefully, and with the gun ready, he opened the door.

Dean stood there frozen for a few seconds.

The fallen angel was standing in front of him. He was pale, there were bags under his blue gaze, his shoulders were down in defeat and his trenchcoat was extremely dirty. But the worst of all were his eyes, that looked into him searching for a hope and apparently they searched and searched but they couldn't find it.

Only now Cas understood the true cost of his humanity. The one thing that he had cherished the most. Dean's beautiful and shining soul was hidden from him. Never again he would be able to cherish at the sight of that marvelous light that was the soul of the Righteous Man. A soul so pure that not even with the mind-control of Naomi, he could harm. Now he truly understood the curse of having his Grace stolen.

Realizing that he wasn't able anymore to see Dean's soul was the final straw. Cas fell onto his knees and started crying.

The hunter put his gun with the safe locked into his back pocket, and in a flash he was kneeled besides his best friend and was holding him in his arms. He whispered his name.

"Cas..."

The hunter had known fear before, he had known desperation and pain. He had known what felt like to lose all hope and reach bottom. He had endured thirty years of torture in Hell without breaking. And when he did break, he hadn't done so like now. Dean's heart was breaking into a million pieces at the sight of Cas crying with such despair and hopelessness.

"Cas..." he said again. The one word he was able to say right now, the word that had more meaning than what human language could cover.

At the mention of his name, the fallen angel raised his head from Dean's shoulder and locked his gaze with the green eyes. The tears had cleared a path in his dirty face, but their trail was lost at the beginning of the bear that had begun to appear on the angel's face. As a drowning man clutching to a lifesaver, he got hold of Dean's face. He desperately searched for something into Dean's eyes but he couldn't find what he was looking for. His face then transformed into one of bone-reaching sorrow, a sorrow that would break beyond repair any lesser man, and that was definitely breaking Cas.

"Cas, what's happening?" asked a desperate Dean.

"Your soul," said Cas, his voice could barely form those two words without breaking, "I can't see it..." and he was falling once more.

"You fell," whispered Dean.

"He stole my Grace. It was a trap, Dean. You were right once more," Cas lowered his eyes, "I should leave," he said and got up.

"Where are you going?" questioned him Dean, steeling his voice and getting up too.

"I shouldn't be here," said Cas refusing to meet Dean's eyes, if he did he wouldn't have the will to leave. And he didn't deserved to be with Dean.

"So that's it, " spatted Dean, "you're leaving again."

"Dean, I-"

"What's going to be the excuse this time, huh?" confronted him the hunter, "What ulterior motive do you have now?"

"I-" tried to explain himself the fallen angel, but he was interrupted once more.

"You know what? If you want to leave, then leave," said Dean getting really close, penetrating him with his eyes, "But if you leave, don't you dare to ever come back. Or I swear to God that I- I- I'll hunt you down," he finished.

Having learned about emotions and feelings from the Winchesters, Cas sadness turned into anger.

"You would do that, wouldn't you? Even after everything I did for you," even being now a tiny human, the phantom of what he had been could be seen.

And because he had been an angel of the Lord, he would prove himself to Dean.

"I'll stay, " he said.

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Once they passed the door of the Bunker, the anger, the frustration, the sadness was replaced by a sense of awkwardness.

"Do you want to eat something or a shower?" asked Dean scratching the back of his neck.

"A shower and some food later would be good," answered him the fallen angel.

"O-Okay," stuttered Dean, "I'll show you the bathroom and give you some of my clothes to borrow."

"What's wrong with my own clothes?" asked Cas tilting his head.

For all that was wrong with the world, Dean smiled at Cas confusion.

"Cas, man, you're human now. You can't just mojo your clothes clean. You're gonna sweat on them and need to change them regularly."

"Oh, right," and Cas depressive tone cleaned away all traces of Dean's smile.

They walked towards the bathroom in silence. The awkwardness in the air bothered Dean. Where was that easiness that he had with his best friend. He had said that he was going to stay, but Dean wouldn't let himself fall into hope. Hope was a bitch that at the end of the day, it brought you down to your knees and made you beg for mercy.

However, when he was alone in his room, looking for suitable clothes for Cas, hope found a tiny way into his heart. And with it came sorrow and fear of losing him once more. He stayed some good ten minutes steeling himself, and repairing his mask, that had so many cracks on it that the fact that he was still able to hold it in place was a miracle on its own.

Miracles, ha. In his opinion, miracles sucked.

He arrived at the bathroom with the clothes for Cas with the most carefree attitude he could manage.

"Cas, I brought the clothes for you," he said looking at the shower curtain.

"The fallen angel pushed away the curtain just enough so his face could be seen.

"Thank you, Dean," he said, his voice was the same than usual but his eyes were red. Had he been crying again?

"Cas, are you okay?" he asked worried, if there was something that he never ever wanted to see again was the image of Cas crying. It felt so wrong... and it made him feel so helpless.

"Yes, Dean," said the angel with a tired tone, "I just learned the hard way that the foam needs to stay away from the eyes."

"Oh," said Dean, there was nothing more that he could add. Cas tone made him want to puke. It felt as if he was dead in the inside.

After he had showed Cas a bedroom, he figured it was time for him to sleep too. So he took what was left of the whiskey and took it to his room. By the third full glass, he was knocked out. The empty bottle slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor.

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Normally, Dean loved a good drop bass, but when it came from his cell phone at what had to be too fucking early, he hated it. Growling, he grabbed his phone and without looking at who was calling, he shut down the call. He threw it away and closed his eyes again. The hangover was aggressively destroying his head.

The damn phone started playing again.

"What?" he snarled at whoever was daring to call him.

"Dean! Thank God you're answering," said Garth from the other end of the line, "I've been calling you for ages."

"Why?" asked Dean sharply.

He was totally not in the mood to play along with the clumsiest and luckiest-to-be-alive hunter in the world.

"_Why? _Where had you been, you idjit? Don't you know about what's been happening for the last three days?"

Apparently, Garth had still set in mind to imitate Bobby.

"Where do you think I was?" reproached him Dean.

"In the middle of it?" the other tried to guess, and once again Garth was Garth and not a cheap copy of Bobby.

"Yeah, Garth, in the fucking middle of it," he sighed, "So what?"

"Well, since that meteor shower of the other day, you know, there's been people appearing. Some where taken by the police for being violent or whatever, others have been taken to a nuthouse... And they've been speaking," he explained.

"Yeah?" said Dean truing to hide the slight worry in his voice.

"There's been two prime words that they all said," and when Dean said nothing, Garth continued, "Is there something that you want to say to good ol' Garth, Dean?"

Dean decided that what the hell. He knew that he could trust Garth. And if the others hunters knew about the fallen angels too, it would be for the best. At least they could try to help them and don't let them get rotten in jails or nuthouses. Most of them may be dicks, but they didn't deserved that.

"Okay, Garth, listen carefully. Angels, they are real," he said and waited for the other to rebut what he just said or to call him crazy.

"All right," said Garth instead.

"That's it?" asked Dean confused, "you are just gonna accept what I said just like that?"

"Yes, you're my friend. Why I wouldn't trust what you say?" answered the hunter in all honesty.

"Garth, I..." said Dean moved by the simplicity of the other guy.

"So how are the angels connected to the meteor shower?"

Dean sighed. He told him about how the angels have been involved in the Apocalypse. He told him about how the Leviathans were freed and then Purgatory. He then asked about Naomi's and his mind control and as much as he knew about Metatron. He told him that Castiel's Grace had been stolen and how the feathered dickhead had made the angels fell.

"And now he's is here with us," Dean finished his tale.

Garth had listened in silence, hearing everything that Dean said, even what he didn't say.

"So this Castiel is your friend?" he questioned him.

"Yes," answered Dean, his voice heavy with the admission.

"Okay, then I'm going to help you," said Garth.

"Help us?" asked Dean contorting his face with confusion.

"Yes," replied Garth as if it was the most obvious thing, "these fallen angels guys don't speak your friend's name with fondness exactly."

"What do you mean?" inquired Dean worried.

"Well... let's say that they want to garth him or angel him or whatever they do now. But it definitely isn't nice."

Dean's heart stopped beating for a second. And when it continued it did so with a certain determination.

No.

The son of bitches wouldn't take Cas away from him. Not again. He was going to kill them before they could touch a single hair of Cas.

"And how can you help us?" he asked to Garth.

"I can misguide them. Leave false clues of your whereabouts," explained the hunter. Dean could practically hear him smiling through the line.

"Yeah, do that," he said and before hanging up, he called, "And Garth?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," answered Garth, his voice was radiating with happiness.

Dean hanged up and rubbed his face with his hands. He submitted the willpower to get up and face another day of watching everyone he loved suffering one way or another and him being unable to help them. The hunter dressed himself and went to check on his little brother.

Sam was deep asleep in his bed. The fever that was burning him up produced little drops of sweat to cover his forehead. His breathing was erratic, like he was having a nightmare. His hands were clutching to the sheets in a poor attempt of holding themselves to something, weakened as they were.

"Sammy," whispered in a broken voice Dean, taking the seat next to his brother bed, and caressing the side of Sam's head.

The sound of his brother's voice seemed to sooth Sam, whose breathing became calmer and whose hands relaxed.

"Don't you worry, Sammy. I'm here," he said and a single tear fell from his left eye, "I'm going to take care of you."

With one last look to his sick brother, he got up. He was going to check up on Cas and then he was going to give his brother an ice-cold bath. The hunter walked to Cas' room and knocked on the door. When there was no answer he opened the door.

The lights were off and when he turned them on, the only sign that the fallen angel had been there was the dirty trenchcoat and Jimmy's old clothes that hanged from one of the hooks on the wall. The bed was made so neatly that if he hadn't seen the angel tuck himself in it the previous night he would have swore that no one had slept on it. For a few seconds, fear and disappointment crossed Dean's features, until he realized that if the clothes were still there, then Cas probably hadn't left. But the possibility of it still lingering there, scared the hunter more than he was wiling to admit.

"Cas," he called when he reached the main area.

But silence was the only one to meet him. Or so he thought, because if he payed attention he could hear a distant bang. Instinctively, he reached for the gun in his back pocket and cursed to himself for having left it in his bedroom. He walked in the direction of the sound, until he realized it was coming for the shooting practice room. He entered in silence and there he finally found the fallen angel.

Cas was still wearing his clothes, a jean that hanged loosely around his hip and a worn out T-shirt that let the lower part of his stomach to be seen when he stretched out to point the gun he was holding towards the target. The bullet holes in the target were all around the center but only a few had actually reached there.

"Cas," called Dean.

If the fallen angel had been startled by the sudden man's presence, he didn't show it.

"Dean," he greeted him.

"Is that my gun?" he asked, he was surprised in so many ways with the sight in front of him that he said the first thing that crossed his mind. Cas wearing his clothes, although slightly arousing, was not something that felt right, even less him holding a gun.

"Yes," answered Cas calmly, "when I woke up you were still asleep. So I checked on Sam and fed him, and as you were still sleeping I decided to practice my aim so I took your gun."

Dean didn't know what bothered him more, if the fact that Cas had taken his gun without asking for it or if the fact that he had been in his room while he wasn't wearing any pants. Yet, he decided not to comment on any of those things.

"Well, your aim ain't bad," he said.

"But it isn't perfect," refuted Cas, "as an angel I had physics to help me. But this human brain is too slow. It can barely grab all the variables involved, even less make all the calculations in time."

Cas looked at the gun in his hands closely for a few seconds, aimed it and shot. The bullet hit the border of the target's center.

"Useless," murmured the fallen angel.

"Come on, Cas, I'm sure a little practice and your aim will be more than perfect," tried Dean to cheer him up.

The ex-angel remained in silence.

"Look Cas, I need to give Sam a cold bath, try to lower his fever," Dean started to excuse himself.

"I'll help you," said Cas.

The hunter was about to say that it wasn't necessary, but a spark of the old Cas that he knew shone in the blue eyes and made him accept the offer. Cas liked helping people, doing things for others, doing things for the boys, for Dean. And Sam was his friend. He couldn't properly shoot at the target anymore-at least by his standards-, he couldn't cure Sam – not that he could have help that much before because it wasn't the kind of affection that a simple angel could cure-, but he could take care of Sam. And that's what he was going to do.

Once in Sam's room, he helped Dean to undress the man until he was in his boxers. Even though, Dean had done it before, Cas' help to carry the big man to the bathroom was welcomed. The bathtub was filled with water and ice that the hunter and the fallen angel had previously carried. All the movement to carry him to the bathroom had stirred Sam awake, with sloppy eyes he looked at his sides to see the persons who were holding him. Between the blur his sight had become and his headache, he had trouble identifying who they were.

"Hey, Cas," he greeted, "Is that you?" he wasn't sure that it wasn't all a dream induced by his fever.

"Yes, Sam," said Cas gently, hiding the sorrow in his deep voice, "It's me."

"How you doing?" he asked.

Even with his fever, he was worried about his friend. After all the last thing he knew about him was the blurry memory of the angels falling and his brother shouting Cas' name to the air. What he had really wanted to ask was if he had fallen along the other angels, but his burning brain didn't let him formulate the right words.

"I'm fine, Sam" answered Cas while he helped the man to get into the tub, "Don't you worry. I'm sorry I can't cure you, Sam, but we'll find I solution, I promise you," apologized the ex-angel.

"Hold your breath, Sammy," instructed Dean, ignoring Cas words and fighting the tears in his eyes.

"It's... okay..." mumbled Sam before sinking his head into the water.

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After they had put Sam back in bed, Cas and Dean, had both remained in silence. It wasn't that they didn't have things to talk about, but that the words felt strange in their mouths. Instead the silence was filled with long stares and many of the things that they didn't say out load would come into their eyes.

The silence was only broken by the sound of paper every time one of them turned the page of yet another book, while they tried to find a cure for Sam. And there's so much that you can keep in silence without it getting into you. So the sadness gave way to frustration, which turned the long stares into looks of reproach. And the minutes that went by turned into another stone in the burden in Dean's shoulder and into another drop of venom in Cas' weary heart.

Suddenly, Dean's phone rang in salvation. Or condemnation.

"What's the matter, Garth?" asked Dean.

"Hm... I found something that I thought that you would like to know," said the hunter.

"What's that?" questioned him Dean, putting the phone on speaker and Cas came closer to hear the conversation.

"There's been strange glows of light in two places," informed Garth.

"Where?" asked Dean anxiously.

"Well, the light has been sighted in a cemetery in Kansas, the name was Stull Cemetery. And the other sighting has been in a convent in Ilchester, Maryland."

"No..." whispered Cas faintly, his face had suddenly gone white.

"Cas? What's happening? Are you okay?" asked Dean worried, holding Cas by the shoulder.

"I had forgotten," explained himself Cas, as if he feared that Dean would blame him of something.

"What?" questioned him Dean.

"I- I didn't remember. This brain- it works slowly," continued defending himself the fallen angel.

"Cas, what?"

Fear had appeared in Dean's eyes, the hand in Cas' shoulder holding slightly harder. What was going to be this time?

"The cage. Lucifer's cage needs the Grace of thousands of angels to be held together," explained Cas.

"But they fell," said Dean letting go of Cas, "So that means... that means that..."

"The cage is breaking," affirmed Cas, "Lucifer and Michael will be set free."

Dean and Cas just stared at each other in shared horror.

"We're screwed," said Garth from the phone.

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**Maybe, Garth was something anti-climatic to end it with, but that's Garth so...**  
**Yeah, if there's a way to sum up this fic is: things get fucked up all the time.**  
**Thank you for reading.**


	2. On the other side

**Okay, this chapter may have a bit more errors because I'm tired and I couldn't fool-proof read it, but I had promised that I would post it tonight.**  
**However, I hope you enjoy the chapter, and that you like how the plot is moving :)**

**This chapter title meaning is here.**

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**Chapter 2**

**On the other side**

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It had been five days since they have decided to not finish the trials, Sam was still dying and they weren't any step closer to finding a cure. Cas was still adjusting to being human, he still used Dean's clothes, and so far the experience of being someone of a different species hadn't been pleasant. Dean wasn't the best of companies to have around, it was understandable but still. Castiel had observed and marveled at humans for a long time. But now that he was one, and whose experience as such was to spend all day long between books, reading at an infuriating rate, where he had to stop to go to the toilet, to eat or just because he felt too tired, he couldn't remember what he had liked so much about humans.

Sometimes, when he looked at Dean he could remember what he had loved about humanity. Why he had rebelled and sided with humans. However, when those green eyes looked at him, it was always the same, for a moment there was hope, like he had forgotten that he couldn't see Dean's soul anymore. So then came disappointment, and then, when that spark of love he thought he had seen in the other's eyes was gone, replaced by a harsh look, came anguish.

It wasn't that Dean was angry at Cas, he was just angry at himself as always. And seeing Cas was just a reminder of what a pathetic loser he was. How he broke everything he touched. Plus, every book he read without finding a solution, only added to his frustration. But Cas didn't know that, maybe only a bit, in theory. The limitation of his human body put him in a sulky mood where he couldn't appreciate the subtitles of Dean's character.

"This is pointless," he said after finishing what had to be the hundredth book, as human he couldn't remember the exact amount.

"Well, unless you can remember a way to undo what your lovely Father has done I suggest that you continue," said the hunter with a dry tone.

"I didn't say I was quitting searching," answered Cas angrily, "I was just trying to express how tired I was," he explained, "I'm going to make dinner," he finished getting up.

"What are you going to cook?" asked Dean, and that was his way of saying sorry for being an asshole.

"Something with pork, probably," was Cas answer.

"Okay," accepted Dean.

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They ate in an almost silence. They barely talked a thing or two about the food. When it came to small talk, Cas wasn't the best. After dinner, the ex-angel went to his room to sleep, and Dean stayed in the main area. He wanted to find some peace of mind, so he reached to the kitchen cupboard where he had hidden all the alcohol that he had bought earlier –along groceries. The hunter didn't like Cas to see him drink, it scared him the possibility of the angel taking after him and him being the reason for his best friend to turn into the broken version of that future where Zachariah had sent him. So he waited for the fallen angel to not be around to lose himself in alcohol.

This time he had vodka. He thought for a second if he should bother to grab a glass, there was actually no real need for it as he was going to drink the whole thing. However, he ended up grabbing one anyway. He sat once more at the table and cursed himself, his life, everything.

He poured the vodka into his glass and then raised it into the air.

"God, if you're there somewhere, you go and fuck yourself," and he gulped down the whole drink.

He was reaching the end of the second glass, when he heard footsteps. Fuck, so Cas wasn't asleep yet.

"What are you doing up?" he reproached to the fallen angel.

"I was thirsty," explained Cas, "How much were you drinking?" questioned him the fallen angel pointing at the glass.

"Who cares?" was Dean dry answer.

"I do," said Cas, "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't care."

"It doesn't matter," continued Dean to not answer.

"It does," refuted Cas starting to get angry, "What would happen if your liver failed? I wouldn't be able to heal you. You'd die."

"Maybe that would be for the best," huffed Dean, "Anyways, that would be my friggin' problem."

"I don't see it that way," said Cas definitely angry now, "Sam needs you. I- I need you," he confessed, "Would you leave me here alone to take care of your brother, Dean?"

"Yeah, the stranded angel needs me to help him fit into society, well, sorry, little mermaid," he spatted, gulping down what was left of vodka in his glass.

"Dean..." warned him Cas.

As an answer, the hunter poured more vodka.

"Give me that," said the angel losing his patience and grabbing the glass in Dean's hand.

"No," exclaimed Dean holding hard the recipient.

They struggled for a few seconds, until Cas, who still couldn't full measure the strength of his body, applied more force than necessary. The glass shattered into a million pieces, many of them went flying around. But one of them, a big one, slashed Cas' hand. Red blood started flowing from the gash immediately.

"Damn it!" cursed Dean, taking the angel's hand between his, "Here, let me take care of that," he said dragging the fallen angel towards the kitchen.

"You see," said Cas while the hunter put his hand under the water stream, "I can't even cure something as simple as this. I cannot lose you, Dean."

The hunter raised his eyes from the wounded hand, and locked them with the blue ones from the fallen angel. He knew it, of course, there's so much an Angel of the Lord can do for you without you getting the message. But hearing the actual words...

Sadly, the adrenaline that he got when Cas accidentally cut himself, had cleared much of the buzz from his system. So his tongue and inhibitions weren't loosened enough for him to say everything that he wanted to say.

"Wait there," he said when he broke eye contact, "I'll grab the First Aid kit."

He bandaged the fallen angel's hand, and attempted to leave, but the ever lasting stare of Cas hold him in place.

"Dean," whispered the ex-angel.

"All right, all right," conceded Dean in defeat, "I won't drink again," he promised, "that much," he added under his breath.

"Dean!" exclaimed Cas who had heard him.

"Hey, there are so many things I'm willing to give up, and beer is not one of them," said the hunter on his defense raising his hands in the air.

The ghost of a smile appeared in Cas' lips.

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By the next morning things hadn't looked up much. Yes, things with Cas were better, after last night there was a certain easiness, like they understood each other better, there was less of an edge. However, a solution for Sam still wasn't appearing. By midday, frustration was gaining the upper hand once more.

Dean was learning against a bookcase, reading another ancient book -the Men of Letters had a vast collection. When he reached the end of the book, and he was still as close to helping Sam as he was when he started, he slammed it against the bookcase.

"Damn it," he exclaimed, startling Cas.

Thanks to the movement a book that was lying on the top of the bookcase fell down, hitting the hunter in the head.

"Damn it," he cursed again.

Cas, who had gotten up to check upon Dean, stayed kneeled on the floor reading the book that had fallen.

"What are you doing, Cas?" asked the hunter once he noticed that the former angel hadn't got up.

"Look at how the book fell," said Cas, "it was opened at this page," he pointed.

"What does it say?"

Cas got up with the book and stared reading the text that had gotten his attention.

"_The one who sacrificed everything once won't do it again. He needs the blessing of the Father, the tears will come from the tree of His flesh, and the tears shall be the blessing,_" he read, "And look, it has an enchantment written in Enochian."

"So do you thing this it?" asked Dean with a hint of excitement, he didn't want to let his hopes to get up, but it was too late.

"I think so..." said Cas in a whisper.

"And what about the tree?" inquired Dean.

"I don't know," answered the ex-angel, and he was truly sorry, "I know that the tears means that we need to get the nectar of the flower of the tree, but I ignore the species of the tree."

"Well, that's just great," grunted Dean, "So we're back to square one then."

"I apologize, Dean."

The fallen angel gave the hunter his best puppy-eye look, the worst past was that the damn bastard probably didn't even know he was doing it.

"No, Cas, damn it, sorry," begun to stutter Dean, "I didn't mean to bark at you. It's just- I can't- not anymore, Cas. I can't hold it anymore," he cried.

The former angel remained in silence for a few seconds. He wondered if he should blatantly lie and say that everything was going to be all right. Even though he had gotten better at lying compared to how he did it at the beginning, he decided against it. He didn't want to lie to Dean ever again, he still remembered all the damage that lying had brought to their relationship.

"I am here and I'll help you with it," he said.

Dean looked at his best friend in the eyes, tears shinning in his. He saw the sincerity in them and he found that which had brought them together in the first place those many years ago. The hunter smiled.

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"Okay, Garth, call me if you find anything," Dean said before hanging up, "Nothing on here. You?" asked the hunter.

Cas extended his arms towards the man, holding the laptop in his hands.

"I can not make this device to cooperate with me," he said.

Dean took the computer and sat besides Cas. Gulping down, he ignored how Cas got extremely close to him so he could look at the screen too. After he unfroze the machine, he typed some keywords on Google, but the results he got weren't helpful at all.

"Try to be more specific," suggested Cas.

The hunter turned around when the other spoke and was startled by the close proximity of those blue eyes that stared at the most inner depths of his soul.

"Damn it, Cas! I'm a hunter, not a botanist," he complained.

"I know," replied Cas not catching the reference.

Dean just shook his head.

"Forget it," he said trying not to think how close those kissable lips were.

After several unsuccessful tries, Dean found what seemed to be a very complete glossary of all the species of trees of the world, he was about to close the tab but Cas stopped him.

"Something may trigger my memory," he explained.

So Dean left Cas with the computer, after all, now all he had to do was read and scroll down, and went to take out a couple of beers from the fridge. He returned to the table and offered one to the fallen angel. Cas looked at him doubtful.

"I don't know if it would be advisable for me to drink alcohol when I need the full capabilities of my vess- my brain," corrected himself Cas, and lowered his look at the full-on-the-face reminder of his humanity.

Doing human things with Dean was misleading. There were moments when he forgot about the Fall, about Purgatory, about most things and he was back to after he rebelled against Heaven and he was with Dean trying to teach him human things, like when he tried to get him laid. In those blissful moments everything was fine and felt right. It was these little reminders that ruined his mood and got him down.

"One won't hurt," said Dean offering him the bottle.

When Cas grabbed the bottle, he understood everything that Dean was not saying out load, it was in his eyes.

Half an hour had passed when Dean's phone rang.

"Hey, Garth," he answered, "Found anything?"

"Oh, yes," replied the other hunter, "I did."

"So, what's it?" asked Dean anxiously.

"First, let me tell you that what I did was genius. Hear me? G-e-n-i-u-s," bragged Garth.

"Okay, okay, you're a friggin' genius, now, spill," said Dean with little patience.

"Ibira pitá," said Garth.

"Eevy- what?"

"Ibira pitá," repeated the hunter, "it means red tree in guarani because of its _red_ wood and pita in Assamese means father."

"The hell?"

"The blessing of the _Father_ blah blah the tree of_ his flesh_. Father, pita and his flesh red tree."

"Oh," said Dean, "are you sure is that one?" he added a little calmer now -and dumbfounded.

"Ask your angel," replied Garth.

"Cas, Ibira pitá means something to you?" asked the hunter.

The fallen angel remained silent for several seconds, thinking about it.

"Yes..." he finally said slowly.

"You're welcome," said Garth and hanged up.

It had been after two hours of intense research of somewhere to get the plant or the flower or the nectar or something, but as fate will have it, best result was a website that had a week of waiting for the delivery. The nerves were starting to get to Dean when there was a knock on the door. Massaging his temple, and gun ready in his back pocket, Dean went to open the door.

"Special fast delivery for Dean Winchester," said a mailman.

The hunter stayed shocked for some good ten seconds.

"Yeah, it's me," he said then.

"Sing here," instructed the mailman, once Dean signed it the man gave the hunter a small package, "Here you have. Have a good day, sir,"

The mailman went away whistling and Dean got back inside the the package in his hands. He showed it to Cas and opened it. There was a small card that read, _"You owe me, -G" _and a small flask with the inscription _"Flower extract: Ibira pitá"_.

"We have it," whispered Dean.

"I'll perform the spell," said Cas taking the flask, "We're going to cure Sam, Dean, he's going to be all right."

Dean looked at him with tears in his eyes.

"I hope so," he said.

.

The were sit at both sides of Sam's bed. Dean had been instructed to not touch Sam till the spell ritual was done. So before Cas started with it, he whispered to his little brother.

"Hold on, Sammy, we're going to make you better," he said and Sam twisted on the bed reacting to Dean's voice, "Cas?"

"I'm going to proceed now," informed the fallen angel to the hunter, "This'll be over in a minute, Sam."

Opening the flask, he distributed some of the flower extract on Sam's forehead with his thumb, and started speaking in Enochian. As the spell progressed, Sam started shaking more and more. Finally, when Cas seemed to be over with the enchanting, the big hunter stopped trembling abruptly and laid lifeless on the bed, as if he was dead.

"Cas! Is he okay?" but the ex-angel remained in silence, "Cas!"

The angel's suddenly extended arm stopped him from touching his brother. The spell was not over apparently. Cas said a last word in Enochian and threw the rest of the flask's content over the sick hunter's face.

Sam gasped.

"Sam!" screamed Dean, grabbing his brother who had arched in the bed.

"Dean?" asked the hunter sitting up with his brother's help, he was confused, like he was coming back from a long half-sleep state where somethings happened around him in a blur.

"It's all right, Sammy, you're fine now," Dean comforted his brother.

"What-? Ho-?" said the youngest man taking in his surroundings, and then he noticed the fallen angel sitting at his side, "Cas?" he asked confused, because why he wasn't wearing his trenchcoat? And where those his brother's clothes?

"Yes, Sam, it's me," answered the ex-angel calmly.

"What-? Oh," he said as the memories came back to him, and now everything made sense.

He remembered his brother holding him while they saw the angels fell, about him crashing down at the Bunker's door, a faint memory of his brother screaming his name, putting him in bed, feeding him, about Cas feeding him, the fallen angel and Dean giving him a bath...

"You took care of me," he said to both of them, "Thank you."

"Well, if you want to thank us then next time you want to close the gates of Hell on your own, don't. Or I'll kill you, bitch," reproached him Dean.

"No, you won't jerk," laughed Sam, pulling his brother for a hug.

Time later, after he was dressed and had eaten something, Sam approached Cas.

"Thank you for taking care after me, Cas, really," he said, "you didn't have to."

"Sam Winchester, you're my friend," begun Cas, "you don't have to thank me..." he trailed off, "Besides I- I owe you. For what I have done to you."

"For what you've- Wait" Are you talking about the thing with the Wall?" Sam inquired him, when the fallen angel gave him the affirmation by remaining silent, the hunter continued, "Then no, Cas. You don't owe me anything. That's done and gone and it's in the past, okay?"

Cas stared at Sam in the eye, making sure that the man was truly forgiving him.

"Okay," he said when he was sure.

Then Cas gifted Sam one of his barely-there smiles. Sam smiled back with a huge grin, he knew that these smiles were mostly for Dean, so he truly appreciated it. Patting the fallen angel on his shoulder, he went to get his laptop.

"Dean! What have you done to my computer?!" he shouted angrily.

"Hey, it wasn't me!" shouted back Dean from one of the rooms of the Bunker, "It was Cas!" he accused.

"Cas!" complained Sam, and started the slow task of repairing his computer.

.

He was getting old for this stuff, thought Gregory, if he didn't know that the only way to leave the hunter job was with his flesh burning in a bonfire, he would have hung the towel a long time ago. He wouldn't complain though, at least this time his job didn't require running, blood or anything like that. It was just about taking a few people that at first sight just seemed crazy and give them a place to live. A damn ex-angel asylum. When Garth first called him and told him everything he thought that the boy had gone nuts besides just dumb. However after meeting the first few fallen angel, he changed his mind. They were human, but there was just something about them that spoke about the power they once had. And if a hunter knew something, was to trust his guts.

"All right, pal," he said to the newest angel that had found, "you should be fine here. It's not a five-star hotel, but at least you have beds a shower room and there are others like you," he said.

The fallen angel, an apparently Indian man in his thirties, remained in silence. Gregory sighed, and led to the old storage room, now filled with beds, where the other angels where.

"Here," he said and opened the door.

The room had five others supposed angels. The new guy looked around him suspiciously, now he couldn't tell between friend and foe. He might had met these angels before but he couldn't know it now. If he did knew them, it hadn't been recently as he didn't recognize any of the vessels that were now their bodies. Only after Gregory closed the door, one of them, a forty something year old woman, spoke.

"_Who are you?_" she said in Enochian.

"_Immanuel,_" he answered smiling in Enochian too, good way of testing if he was truly an angel.

"_Hi, Immanuel_," she greeted him, "_I'm Elisheva._"

"_Elisheva..._" he whispered, she was well known in his garrison, she was to be respected.

"_I hope that you don't take this personal,_" she stated, "_but we need to know where your loyalties are,_" her tone was gently, but Immanuel could recognize the threat in her voice.

"_I can't stand this mud-monkeys,_" he confessed, "_treating me like their equal. I just want to kill them._"

"_We will, my dear, but not yet,_" smiled Elisheva, "_so far we need them until we can learn to go unnoticed by the humans. And then,_" she said, and suddenly her smile was gone and all the hate she had came through her face, "_we need them to tell us where the Winchesters are._"

"_The Winchesters?_" Immanuel asked confused, "_Why would we want anything to do with them again?_"

"_Because,_" said Elisheva slowly, "_Castiel will surely be with them._"

"_Oh,_" exclaimed Immanuel, and a dangerous spark appeared in his eyes, "_Good._"

"Come we have a surprise for you," she said, now speaking in English.

Elisheva led Immanuel through the beds towards the end of the room, in the last one, a red haired woman was sat. Her eyes stared at nothing and she seemed to be whispering something to herself.

"Who's she?" he asked, something akin to fear and disgust in his face.

Elisheva got close to the woman and spoke into her ear with the sweetest and scariest voice she had.

"Naomi, why don't you say hello to our brother Immanuel?"

Naomi didn't seem to have heard her.

"What happened to her?" asked Immanuel scared.

"Metatron messed with her before the Fall," explained Elisheva, "She isn't very useful now. Save when she speaks," and the angel's creepy and evil smile returned to her face, "Oh, she is so useful when she speaks. And always cooperative, aren't you, darling?"

Immanuel knew then that even if he didn't want to it was best for him to always please Elisheva.

"So what are we going to do?" he asked.

"First, we find the Winchester and Castiel and then we torture Castiel through her weakest point. He will pay for his action with that he loves the most," said Elisheva, "The Winchester's death will be slow and painful."

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**Okay.**  
**First, I hope that you noticed the little foreshadowing I did. There were three things that happened that are forshadowing. If by any chance you tell me what they were, I'll give you a cookie.**  
**Second, this chapter ended more on the happy side that what I originally intended. However, things will get darker.**  
**Third, the angel's names were based on Manuel and Isabel, (I choose them because of the -el) and what you have is the original Hebrew name.**  
**Fourth, about the tree. I didn't want it to be a tree that is in latin america, specially in Argentina, something that you may understand why after reading next chapter.**  
**Fifth, I fell asleep and I'm posting this in the morning.**


	3. Taking in the view

**Warnings: Torture**  
**Sorry, for the delay on uploading this chapter, but I was very scared of doing it wrong and I had a two days excursion in one of my subjects at the university. So sorry.**  
**The meaning of the chapter title is here.**  
**And I know that there's a part of the chapter where you may get the wrong impression, but if you continue reading to the end, you'll probably realize that no.**  
**Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

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**Chapter 3**

**Taking in the view**

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They were taking things slowly for once, they hadn't had a hunt of any kind. They did keep an eye on the lights on the cemetery and convent, waiting for Lucifer and Michael to break free, unless they found a way to return all the angel's to Heaven, but so far they didn't have a clue of how to do it.

For the first days, the mood at the Bunker had improved a lot, Cas had been adjusting well and Sam had recovered the color in his face. But not much time later, Cas started to have nightmares, guilt and pain were the perfect ingredients for them. Looking for a cure for Sam had kept the fallen angel busy and when night came he was just too tired. But then he became restless and his human mind liked to torment hm with his worst memories and fears. As the nights passed Cas dreaded more the time to be alone in his room with his thoughts. And with the days, he started developing a taste for coffee. Something that would help him being more active, a bit less human.

Dean observed Cas' progress in silence. He didn't know what to do. He had no words of comfort, he had nothing to give that could help the fallen angel. Besides the upcoming 'Apocalypse II: The Return' had him worried. Apparently, Lucifer was right, no matter how many things he changed, everything ended up the same way. Even taking Cas shopping for clothes had been gloomier than what it should.

Cas at first only bought the clothes that Dean gave him, that was all jeans and plaid shirts. At first, it had been all about ignoring how the new jeans fitted around Cas' ass, which was something pretty normal. Considering... After all, the hunter had long since admitted his attraction towards the angel, he also knew about the true extension of his feelings, and that was what scared him. If he acted upon his feelings, then, what would he do when he lose him, because he knew his life, so the end was clear, sooner or later, it would happen. Maybe, even Cas returned his feelings, but even that didn't matter, the angel had made his choice clear several times before.

No, that hadn't been it, that was normal. That hadn't been what had scared Dean and made what was a rather pleasant evening to go downwards. It had been when Cas chose clothes by himself for the first time.

"That one," he said pointing at a gray loose cotton shirt.

Dean's eyes widened when he noticed what Cas was showing him.

"No!" he shouted and, grabbing the angel by the arm, started walking away from the shop, "Those are for hippies, and you're not a hippie!" he said angrily, "Wait outside while I pay for the clothes," he instructed him, shopping was over for the day.

Cas couldn't understand what he had done wrong. He didn't know, because Dean never told him with so many details, that those were the kind of clothes that his future self used. And the hunter was scared, scared that the fallen angel could end up as broken as he had seen him, scared that Lucifer was going to be free, so he was scared that Sam could end up saying yes again -or worse that it didn't matter because he had already said yes once. Dean was scared about the world and about _his_ world. However, Cas didn't know that, he just thought that Dean was angry at him. So it only helped him to sink him further down. It was in moments like this that he missed the feeling of flying.

When they returned to the Bunker they barely talked to each other. Cas was hurt and Dean was fearful. Sam tried to talk to both of them, he even tried several ways, together, alone with each one, but neither of them would give in. Finally, when he got tired of trying, he buried himself in the books and his computer.

Two weeks had passed in that fashion when Sam found the omens. It was in Phoenix and the whole thing just spoke demon activity. It had been a long time without action for them, and they all needed a hunt. Sam brought up the topic and now they were all in the Impala. Dean was driving, Sam on the passenger seat and Cas in the back. The fallen angel was not a pleasant company for car-traveling. He got easily bored and fell asleep fast. The previous times that he had traveled in the car with the boys it had always been an option. He _had chosen _to be with them, regardless the purpose of the ride, and besides he could always flip his wings and be gone. But now this was his only way of travel and that got him pissed.

Eventually, after eighteen long hours -with brief stops for going to the toilet or to buy a small something to eat in the car- they arrived at Phoenix.

"I'm starving," said Dean as soon as they entered the town.

"Yeah, me too," replied Sam.

"I am also experiencing hunger," added Cas to the conversation.

"Okay, let's first get something to eat, then find a motel to sleep and tomorrow we'll see what's happening in this town," said Dean during the car through the city searching for somewhere to dinner.

They ended up at a Big Anderson's, they ate in silence for the simple fact that they were to hungry for chatting. Maybe, that's why they were able to hear the screaming that came from the parking lot.

"What the..." said Dean sharing a look with his brother right before his instincts kicked in.

He dropped a twenty dollar bill, and the three of them ran outside. A young woman was standing next to their car. She was dressed in a way that clearly was out of place, the jogging was fine even the hoodie -that clearly needed a wash-, but the pink slippers stood out. Her face was locked in a panicked expression, and when she noticed them, her eyes widened even more.

"You-? But how-? Pero si-" she stuttered jumping from English to Spanish and back, not forming a proper sentence in either of both languages.

"Hey, hey, calm down," said Sam slowly getting closer to her, "Everything's fine," he said resting a hand in the girl's shoulder while his brother and Cas checked out around them to see what could have possible attacked the girl, and most importantly if the threat was still there.

"Do you speak English?" asked Sam.

"Yes," said faintly the girl.

"What happened?"

The woman seemed to start panicking again and after swallowing down several times she spoke.

"I was about to get in my room... and then I was here," she said with a strong latin accent.

"Okay," agreed Sam, "I believe you," he said trying to reassure her.

"I know," she said and her panic grew even more, "but you're not real, and I've gone nuts, because you're fictional characters."

"Great," exclaimed Dean who had been listening, just what they needed another obsessed fan as Becky.

"No, you don't understand. There's no books, it's a TV show. You're supposed to be actors. There is no Apocalypse, not Leviathan, no nothing," she said in a rush, "Was," she then corrected herself.

"What do you mean?" questioned her Dean incredulous.

"Are you saying that you come from _that _reality?" asked her Sam removing his hand from her.

"Well, not_ that_ reality because everyone ended up dead in that one, but yeah," she answered.

"I do not understand," said Cas.

"Remember that universe where your friend Balthazar sent us?" said Dean looking at Cas sideways.

"Oh," exclaimed the fallen angel.

"All right," said Sam, "then who are you?" he asked her.

The girl stared at the hunter, her expression had gone from hysterical panic to fear.

"My name is Eugenia Victoria Antoni, I'm 23 years old, I'm studying in the university to be a licentiate in Molecular Biology, but outside Argentina it would be like a Master degree. My parents name are Carla Gonzalez and Abel Antoni. And they're human just as me. And I started watching Supernatural because of Tumblr, it's not my fault. Well, maybe it is, I don't know. I'm not a supernatural being," said Eugenia with almost no pause.

"Okay, okay," calmed her Sam, "we won't hurt you."

"Nevertheless," said Dean and threw holy water from a flask at her.

Eugenia dried her face with the sleeve of her hoodie unperturbed.

"Sorry, standard precaution," apologized Sam to the girl.

"So what do we do now?" asked Dean.

"I don't know but demon omens and..." said the youngest hunter pointing at Eugenia slightly with his head.

"Both things randomly happening at the same place and time is highly improbable," argued Cas.

"So I guess then Trinity here is stuck with us for now," said Dean.

.

They booked two rooms in a motel. Considering that Sam was the one with the most empathy and who had gotten closer to the woman, he and Eugenia would share a room, and the other one was for Dean and Cas. And just because he was tired in all the drama in their lives, Sam didn't hide his smile when he handed the key to Dean.

The oldest hunter and the fallen angel had already settled in their motel room, when they heard a knocking in the door.

"Dean, it's me" said Sam through the door.

"For God's sake, just open the door!" complained Dean while he opened it to let his brother in.

"One never knows," said Sam casting a short glance at the two men.

Dean decided to ignore him. However, Cas gave a long stare to Sam, thinking what the other meant by that, was he just trying to put Dean under an awkward situation? Which raised the question of why it would be awkward for Dean, or did Sam knew about how he felt about Dean? Had he meant the mockery to be directed towards him? And maybe, most important, what if it hadn't been a mockery. Was it something that his friend assumed for all pair of people who shared a room or was it just for Dean and him? If being around humans was frustrating, being one was even more, he thought.

"So how's our new Becky?" asked Dean.

"She's resting," said Sam, "I think it's just starting to sink in her that she is most likely stuck in this reality."

"Isn't that every fangirl's dream?" inquired Dean.

"Yeah, maybe" commented Sam, "But she has just lost everyone she ever loved or even knew, so I don't think so, not so much."

"Careful with what you wish," warned the hunter.

"So, guys..." started Sam, clearly trying to find a way to start what he thought was a sensitive topic, "you... you don't think she could be a fallen angel, right?"

"Nah..." disagreed immediately Dean, "she isn't, right, Cas?" he doubted.

"If she's telling the truth, then I don't think so, I can't remember any reason for a fallen angel to have memories from another reality," he reasoned.

"And if she's lying?" asked Dean.

"Then I don't know," sighed Cas.

"Guess we'll have to find out," said Dean.

Sam was about to suggest that they started brainstorming what possibly connection Eugenia had to the demon omens when they heard a scream coming from the room next door. In a rush, the three of them run in Eugenia's aid. The door was half open. Bad sign.

They found her lying in bed with a man in his thirties lying over her and chocking her. When he noticed their entry, he turned his face to them and his eyes were black.

"Fuck," cursed Dean and took from his shirt's pocket the flask with holy water.

The demon hissed when the water hit him and took away his hands from Eugenia, who as soon as she was free rolled from the bed to the floor on the opposite side of where the demon was standing. The creature from Hell charged against Dean and gave him a punch in the stomach that sent him flying towards one of the walls. Cas and Sam went to attack him, angel blade and Ruby's knife in hand, but the demon deflected Sam, taking the knife from him and throwing the big man against the fallen angel, making them fall. He was going to jump on them when suddenly he couldn't move any more from where he was standing.

Eugenia had taken out her cell phone, and grabbing it with both hand, she was pointing it in the demon's direction with the image of a demon trap.

"Good thinking," congratulated her Sam once he had untangled himself from the top of Cas.

"You had your cell phone on you when you were sent here?" asked Dean.

"Well, yes," she answered, "I was about to read some fanfiction,"

"About?" asked her Sam.

"Eh... I don't thing that you want to know," said Eugenia blushing.

"Oh," exclaimed Sam putting one of his bitchfaces, mixed with disgust when memories of Becky came to his mind.

While Eugenia continued holding her phone, the boys made a demon trap on the floor and with iron chains, held the demon in a chair. On the near table, they put a big bottle of holy water, Ruby's knife, a syringe and rock salt.

"If I were you, I'd start talking right now, otherwise things are going to get pretty ugly for you," threatened Dean.

The demon spitted the hunter in the face. Without saying anything, Dean threw some holy water on the man, making him hiss in pain.

"You're going to have to try harder, pretty boy," answered defiantly the demon.

"As you say," said Dean, his eyes hard as steel, remembering his time in Hell.

Wetting Ruby's knife with holy water, Dean started to slash slowly the demon's leg. When he paused to see if the creature of Hell was going to speak, the demon turned to Eugenia who was watching the whole scene with an unreadable expression on her face.

"What are you looking at, bitch? You know what, I'm going to get free and when I do, I'm going to kill you, but first I'm going to ride you like the bitch you are."

Something in the woman snapped. He got close to the demon, ignoring Sam who tried to stop her. She first wet his hands with holy water and then hold the demon's arms, making sure of piercing his skin with her nails.

"You know what, I could handle you trying to kill me. But spending too much time on Tumblr made me intolerant of your misogyny," she said slowly.

She grabbed the syringe from the table, filled it with holy water and stabbed the demon's groin with it.

"You were saying about riding me?" she said unloading the syringe's content.

The demon screamed, but as soon as he could, he spitted Eugenia in a eye. The woman cleaned herself with her hand and with a dangerous look he spoke.

"Eye for an eye, goes the expression," she said and stuck the needed in one of the demon's eyes.

The three men saw dumbstruck how what at first had seen like an innocent looking woman now was deviously torturing the demon.

"All right, I'll speak! I'll speak!" shouted the demon.

At that Dean focused back into action, with Ruby's knife still in hand, he took Eugenia out of the way and approached the demon.

"What are your kind doing here?" he asked.

"We came to kill her," explained the demon pointing at Eugenia with his eyes.

"Why?" inquired Dean.

"_The Father will come through the Mother,_" he said, "she's the one prophesied."

"For what?" asked Dean impatiently.

"I don't know," he answered and to that Dean stabbed the demon's leg, "I don't know, I swear," he cried, "I only know that she's bad for our plans."

"What plans?" asked Sam from behind his brother.

"Restarting the Apocalypse," smiled the demon.

Dean made sure to erase that smile by stabbing the other leg of the demon.

"Where are your teammates?" continued interrogating him Dean.

"They're coming," panted the demon, "tomorrow afternoon."

"Okay, thank you for your service," said Dean and stabbed the demon in the heart.

He then turned to face Eugenia.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked her, pointing at her with Ruby's knife that was still bloody.

"I've already told you," she answered.

"The fuck you did," said Dean angrily,"What the fuck is the prophecy thing and all that shit?"

"I don't know," she said, and Eugenia seemed honest. Seemed being the keyword here.

But Dean had seen her enjoy the whole torture thing, so he wasn't buying her crap anymore.

"Bullshit," he called.

"Honest to God, I don't know, the closest thing I've been to the Apocalypse here is reading spoilers for season nine," defended herself Eugenia.

"Stop the innocent fangirl crap right now," demanded the hunter getting closer to her, "I saw you enjoying torturing that one," he said pointing at the demon.

"Yeah, I did enjoy it," she confessed, her eyes shone and she looked contemplative, "I just let my darkness out, I mean, we all have darkness and light inside all of us, right? As much darkness as light. And normally I write, do sports or listen to rock. And now, I just didn't hold it back and I-" explained Eugenia slowly, and a smile that on any other situation would look sweet appeared on her face, "I just remembered my strength."

"What?" asked Sam.

"Strength comes from darkness, and I just saw my darkness," she said with dreamy brown eyes.

"You're a psychopath," accused her Dean.

In all honesty, the hunter wasn't angry at the fangirl. It was because he saw himself reflected on her. He saw in her how he actually enjoyed torturing, how great it felt. And Dean hated himself, therefore, it was only logical that he hated Eugenia too.

"I'm not," answered back the woman, "I mean, tomorrow I'll feel guilty about the pain that the poor bastard being possessed felt, but now... I'm not scared anymore."

And in a weird way it made sense. Dean understood how it was like to feel scared all the time, like when his father took him in his first hunt. He remembered when he killed his first monster, the feeling of accomplishment, that no matter what came at him, he could kill it. So, okay, he was not going to kill the woman as he had planned doing so some moments ago, but just because she seemed to be involved into stopping Apocalypse II.

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"Listen to me, Sammy," said Dean, "If she does the even slightest thing you call me, all right? Or shout or blow the ball or whatever and I'll go."

"Yes, Dean," complied Sam.

"Look, I don't trust her, "confessed the eldest hunter.

"I know, Dean" said tiredly Sam, "but she's only five-eleven, I think I'll manage."

"I know but-"

"He'll be fine, Dean," said Cas.

Dean knew he was being over-protective, but considering how he had rather recently almost lost his little brother, it was understandable. However, Cas reassurance calmed him down a bit. He trusted his fallen angel, even after everything that happened between them.

"All right, all right," he admitted defeat, "But even so, call me if something happens," he said with an accusatory finger.

"Bye, Dean," said Sam with a bitchface.

The hunter left the room leaving Dean and Cas alone. Dean stared at Cas for a while, their souls communicated through their eyes as always. But when the connection broke, he felt awkward.

"Okay, let's go to sleep," he said clasping his hands.

"I'll go to change myself," announced the fallen angel, taking his clothes from the bag that Dean had gifted him.

When Cas left to the bathroom, Dean threw himself in bed. He was not going to put himself into any sleeping clothes, not because he didn't want to be in nothing else than a T-shirt and boxers while being in the same room that Cas. It was just that he didn't trust Eugenia and wouldn't rest easy with she being in the same room that Sam, and he just wanted to be ready if something happened. That was it, there was nothing else to it.

After a while Cas got out of the bathroom with his suit and trenchcoat in a hand and wearing the clothes that Dean had first gave him. Dean didn't know how to take the fact that the former angel used his clothes to sleep in. He tried to ignore it and let the fact pass by, but for once he couldn't keep his thoughts in silence.

"You're wearing my clothes," he stated.

Cas looked at him.

"Sorry, I'll give them back to you, if you want," he offered.

"No, that's okay. It's just..." trailed of Dean unable to find the words to express his troubled thoughts.

"I find myself comfortable in them," informed Cas

"That's good," said Dean with a faint smile.

Cas tucked himself in his bed, and before turning around, he spoke.

"Good night, Dean."

"Good night, Cas."

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If it hadn't been for the fact that he slept lightly because he was worried for Sam, he might not have heard it and woken up. For a few seconds, Dean had been confused, not sure of what had disturbed his sleep. That was until he saw Cas squirming and twisting in the other bed. His face was contorted in a frown, his hands were clutching hard to the sheets and he was saying something under his breath.

"Cas," called him Dean, rushing to his friend's side, "Cas!" he called him again gently shaking him by his shoulders.

The fallen angel woke up suddenly, a look of pure terror in his eyes. He grabbed Dean's face as if he was checking that the hunter was not hurt, that he was alive. And once he seemed satisfied, he stayed there just looking at Dean in the eyes. He was not crying, not this time, but it was probably worst than it. His eyes were filled with tears that would not fall and despair and sorrow filled his gaze.

"What happened?" asked Dean.

"You were hurt and I could not heal you," his voice did not shake, no sob interrupted him, but his tone had reached a new level of deepness where his sadness and fear could be noticed, "And I had to see you d-," but he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

"It's all right, it was just a nightmare," comforted him Dean while he got more comfortable in Cas' bed.

"It was not," argued Cas, "it could happen tomorrow when we face the demons, it could happen at any given time. And I wouldn't be able to help you," then he lowered his eyes before adding, "I'm worthless."

"Look at me, Cas," said Dean forcing the former angel to look at him in the eye, "If something happens and I die, it won't be your fault, okay? No matter how it happens, it _won't_ be your fault, you listen to me?" and hardening his voice, he said, "And I don't want to hear you saying that you're worthless ever again, is that clear?"

Cas nodded. He would never voice those thoughts to Dean again, but that didn't change the fact that he would still think so. After all, he had learn the most about humanity from the Winchesters, and that meant not listening one's true worth.

Dean was about to go to his own bed, but Cas holding him slightly harder prevented him from it. No words needed to be exchanged. He arranged himself to be facing up in the bed more comfortably, and put his let arm around Cas. The ex-angel put his head over the hunter's chest and snuggling against him he soon found himself lost in dreamland again, but this time no nightmares came to him, no with Dean's heartbeat and rhythmical breathing to soothe him. Dean, however did not sleep easily again. He had pictured himself sleeping in bed with Cas several times, but it had always been both blissfully exhausted after some amazing mind-blowing sex. Not with him comforting the fallen angel after a nightmare, Cas broken in his arms. But then again, Dean should have known better than to expect his life to give him something different from a twisted version of his dreams. It was only several hours later that sleep finally claimed him into its reign.

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Dean had suggested that they used Eugenia as bait. Sam had opposed, saying that it was morally wrong to use an innocent woman. Dean had raised one of his eyebrows when his brother decided to use the term 'innocent' to describe Eugenia and Sam had ignored him, only acknowledging his expression with a bitchface. When Cas argued that it was the best plan that they had so far, the youngest hunter knew it was a lost cause. He insisted, however, on arming Eugenia with holy water and salt, the only reason he didn't give her Ruby's knife was that in a fight, the woman was more likely to hurt herself than hurt others.

They decided to set everything in a dark alley. The plan was simple, Eugenia was going to wait on a street and when the demons started to appear she had to run to the alley, where traps painted with paint only visible to UV light were going to be set. Once the demons were in the alley, the boys were going to turn on the UV lights that they had specially installed -and by installing it was holding the lights with some screws and connecting them to a battery. Then it was just a matter of killing the demons that had fallen on the traps. Simple, right? But all of them knew better.

The demons appeared as expected. Eugenia ran as she had been indicated to. The boys turned on the UV lights and every demon was trapped. With Ruby's knife and Cas' blade they killed with little fighting every single one of the demons. And just like that, everything was done.

"That was too easy," said Dean.

"I know," agreed Sam while cleaning Ruby's knife, "But you know, don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

"Yeah, but knowing our luck it's going to come back and kick us in the ass," sighed Dean negatively.

"There's no horse," commented the angel.

"It's an expression, Cas," told him Dean.

"Oh."

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"So long no see you!"

"Yeah, yeah," said Dean hugging Garth back awkwardly.

"Well, I'll be seeing you, I guess," said Eugenia after Garth had finished hugging everyone, including a very confused Cas.

"Bye," said Sam giving a short hug to the woman, "take care."

"Thank you, Sam," answered Eugenia and then she turned to Dean, "Goodbye, Dean" she said.

"Yeah, bye," dismissed her quickly the hunter, barely sparing her a look.

Eugenia tried to hide her disappointment.

"Bye, Cas," she said.

"Goodbye, Eugenia," answered cordially the fallen angel who had no kind of resentment towards the woman.

"Ready to go?" asked her Garth.

Eugenia looked at him.

"Yes," she answered and her mouth curved into one big honest smile.

"Great!" said Garth with a grin of his own.

They both climbed into the clumsy hunter's car and bidding farewell with their hands, they went off.

"So, Sam, please tell me that you didn't fuck her," asked Dean to his brother.

"What? No!" exclaimed Sam, "We just chatted and got along."

"Hey, not judging," said Dean, "It wouldn't be so bad actually, you have a _killer_ dick after all."

"Dean!"

"Just saying..."

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**First, thank you for reading it. I was very scared of this chapter because I know that with Eugenia's back story she could be easily be read (or written) as a Mary-Sue, something that she's not. That was why the chapter was so hard to write. I wasn't going to include her at first, why taking the risk, but then I had a series of problems and no solutions, and then she came in and gave the right settings for solving the problems. She started as a tool for the story, and now I'm trying to develop her into a good character. But I am still afraid of writing her the wrong way (altough she passed the Mary-Sue test several times). She only appears in around 4 chapters more, with varying degrees of intervention. And in one just because I need to add the other key thing to her character. But she's never the main focus, so don't you worry.**  
**But I'm getting to ahead of myself.**  
**And if you laughed at the end (I laughed for ten minutes when the scene came to my mind because I can totally see and hear Dean saying that after that in 'Season 7: Time for a wedding' he acknowledged Sam's peen of death). But don't get use to happy endings like this, because already next chapter... I've written already half of it, and mwahahaha.**  
**As you see, specially with the first part of the chapter, this is slowly taking into a TheEnd verse path. Also, this chapter is the last one of introductory chapters. With this I have set down all the elements to let the plot move and things start to happen (a.k.a. everything starts going to Hell).**  
**Please, any review that you could leave will be welcomed, your opinion is welcomed.**


	4. The Devil's Game

**Warning: Graphic torture.**  
**I'll use this space to say that if someone wants to Beta this I'll be thankful. As you can see English is not my native language so I'm prone to make grammatical anf vocabulary mistakes. Thanks anyways for reading the story despite them.**  
**Chapter title meaning is here.**  
**This chapter is short sorry.**

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**Chapter 4**

**The Devil's Game**

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They have arrived at the Bunker a couple of hours ago after coming from an easy salt and burn case. They were just chilling out with some beers when Garth called at Dean's phone.

"What's up, Garth?" asked relaxed the hunter.

"Dean! I think it's happening now!" shouted Garth through the line, panic evident in his voice.

"Calm down and tell me what it is because I don't get you," said Dean his attention now totally focused on his friend.

"Lucifer! The cage! That!" shouted Garth clearly not calming down.

"What do you mean?" asked Dean.

"The lights have suddenly become impossible bright and there's this huge ray that seems like they're beaming down the Hulk and his entire family from the Enterprise," explained Garth in a high pitched voice.

"Garth, where are you?" asked him the hunter while he stepped closer to Sam and Cas who had come next to him to hear the conversation.

"Near the convent," answered Garth.

"Okay, listen to me, get out of there now," ordered him Dean.

"I don't think I can, not in time, anyway," said the small hunter casually.

"What the hell do you mean?" asked Dean, his voice full of worry for one of the few friends he had alive.

"It's too bright, and I can barely see," he explained, and after a pause, he added, "Hey, it's been fun."

"Garth, no!" shouted Dean desperately to the phone, "Don't you dare."

"Well, it's not like I've been exactly hunter material, right?" said the hunter who was always cheerful with sadness in his voice.

"Listen to me, Garth! Don't you dare die! Okay?! Don't you dare!" screamed the other on the phone.

But Garth wasn't answering anymore. Whatever was happening on the other side of the line translated into static.

"Garth? Garth!" called him Dean holding back the tears with anger.

And after what seemed ages of just static, the hunter answered.

"Okay, this time I'm sure I didn't miss anything, but... it's over?" he doubted.

"What do you mean over?" asked Dean confused, feeling relief that Garth was alive, but fearing that it may be too soon to celebrate.

"There are no lights, nothing," told him the hunter.

"Then it happened," said Cas, only Sam and Dean that knew him well could notice the fear in his eyes, "Lucifer and Michael are free."

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It felt nice stretching the true form of his wings after what had been almost four hundred years locked in that cage. When he was done rejoicing in the simple feeling of freedom, he extended his senses to gather information of how things were after his time in the pit. And when he felt it, he laughed, he laughed at Metatron, he laughed at the Winchesters, he laughed at fate. So this was it then. It was time to start over with a different script.

So he went to Heaven to get his vessel again. Vessel rules for angels were different than those of demons. For starters there was not only the consent thing, but the vessel had to be alive. So far only one angel had managed to stay in the vessel of a technically dead person, and that had been the little cockroach of his little brother Castiel. But it didn't matter, because soon he would have his vengeance on him. Sadly, there was a small nuisance for being sent back to the cage. Normally, when a person said "yes" once that was it, the angel could come and go from the body as he pleased. But being inside the cage reset that so he needed to earn back the consent. And that's what took him back to Heaven.

He ignored the memories of his childhood that had tried to crept back into his mind. He ignored the place that reminded him that they had all been a happy family once. He ignored the memories of him playing with Gabriel and the guilt of killing him. He ignored the memories of the nights spent with Michael and focused instead in the anger of when he throw him into the cage. He remembered the betrayal of his Father and the feeling of being an outcast.

With all that pain and anger in his heart, he found Nick's heaven and smiled.

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After the call with Garth had ended, Cas had run to his room. Thinking that he needed some time alone, Dean had let him be. But after what he thought was a reasonable time, he went to see the fallen angel, to talk to him if he needed it. He didn't know how he expected to find Cas, but he definitely wasn't expecting to find him packing. The ex-angel was folding his clothes and putting them in the bag that Dean had gifted him, in his rush, the clothes ended up all wrinkled at the bottom of the bag.

For a few seconds, Dean couldn't speak. He stayed in silence for a while, dealing with the great amount of pain that the scene was causing him. When he spoke, he hid it all under anger.

"What are you doing?" he reproached to the angel.

"I'm packing," was Cas' answer.

"I can see that," replied drily the hunter, "What I meant was, where the hell are you going?!

"I have to leave," and he looked at Dean silently begging him to let him go.

"Where?"

"It doesn't matter, I just need to leave," answered Cas, grabbing his bag and going to the bedroom's door.

Dean blocked his path.

"If I remember correctly, you had promised that you would stay," reminded him Dean piercing him with eyes that had trouble holding back the tears.

"I did, but-"

"But what? What better place to be do you have this time?" confronted him the hunter.

"It's not about a better place, don't you understand it?" asked Cas, "Lucifer and Michael are going to find me, you and your brother are safe because you've still got the sigils that I carved in your ribs. But I don't have any, so they will find me," Cas eyes just begged Dean to understand him, "I'm doing this to protect you."

"Cut with the crap, Cas," said Dean pushing the angel a step back, while he took a step closer, "For how long you're going to use the _'I'm doing this for you'_ excuse every time you leave me?"

"It's not an excuse," said Cas.

"Bullshit," spatted Dean, "what is it really? It is because you can't stand being with puny humans like me? Because if that's the problem, I've got news for you, you're now a human too."

"Dean..." begged him Cas, but the hunter was not done venting.

"What is it, Cas? Say it," commanded Dean, every word felt like a venom.

"I can't lose you," confessed Cas, "and I can't see you get hurt just because I was too selfish to do the right thing."

"And the right thing is walking away from me?" and this time he couldn't hide the hurt in his voice.

Dean's tone cut deeper in Cas that any angel blade could.

"If you get hurt because I was too weak to let you go, then I- I-" trailed off Cas.

"You what?"

"I would kill myself," finished Cas.

Dean cleaned the tears that had ended up falling from his eyes, and emitted a sad laugh.

"You know, it's funny," he said, "you're so worrying about me getting hurt, that you don't realize it, do you?" he laughed once more, "You are the one hurting me right now."

"Dean, I-" Cas eyes shone with tears.

"Stay or leave," said Dean, "but chose."

The fallen angel looked at the hunter for several seconds.

"I can't see you get hurt," he said and dropped the bag.

Dean smiled faintly.

"I think it is about time that you get it," said Dean, "you don't get to decide when I need protection from you. Besides," he added making sure that Cas was looking at him in the eye, "we're family. And that means one thing," he paused, "we stick together no matter what."

The stare that Cas gave to Dean was one of pure love and devotion.

"You know," said Sam appearing from the hallway, "what Dean says is true. You're family, Cas."

Castiel, former angel of the Lord, smiled. His 'biological' family may be formed exclusively by dicks, but here he had his true family. And apparently, they wanted him with them. So he wasn't going anywhere.

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Nick was happy in Heaven, after being Lucifer's vessel for a whole year, and seeing the things that he had done with his body, it was a well-deserved change. Besides, in here he had the chance to be with his wife again, he had even had been able to raise his little baby. And as they had an eternity in Heaven, their baby was growing up slowly. He was resting now, reliving that sunrise that he had spent alone just to celebrate the fact that his beautiful Sarah had said yes to go out in their first date.

The sky suddenly turned black, and a tension filled with deft echos of screamed warnings filled the air. Nick turned around when he felt a presence behind his back.

"You," he whispered.

"Did you miss me?" asked Lucifer in a mocking tone.

"No..." breathed Nick stepping back in pure terror.

"Oh, you're making me feel sad," said Lucifer faking a pout, "What? I'm not pretty enough?" he asked while he held an exact replica of Nick's image.

"I came here because I need to ask you a favor," explained the devil while he got closer to Nick, who kept walking away from him, "I need you to say yes again for me."

"Never," defied him Nick finding his bravery.

"Are you sure?" inquired Lucifer with fake sweetness and he raised a hand.

Nick fell to his knees screaming in pain. His organs where liquifying and burning at the same time inside of him.

"Are you absolutely sure?" asked him the devil again.

"No, the answer is still no," hissed Nick between the stabs of pain.

"If I were you I would think that," said Lucifer his voice covered with fake concern and seduction, "After all, we're in Heaven, the laws of physics and biology do not apply here."

The devil twisted his hand once more, and Nick now laid on the floor with his organs inside out. Lucifer moved one finger, and every square centimeter of exposed meat started crisping like it was being fried, something akin to pus came out of Nick's mouth.

"What's your answer now?" asked Lucifer.

"Never," spatted Nick once he had managed to swallow down the pus.

"Never say never, baby," asked Lucifer.

Lucifer spanned his fingers, and Nick's wife appeared holding her baby in her arms.

"Sarah! No!" shouted Nick, his body fully restored as new.

"Did you know that archangels can not only kill humans, but also destroy their souls? Poof! They go. Out of existence forever," said Lucifer, "Here, let me show you."

Under Nick's terrorized gaze, Lucifer approached Sarah, he put a hand on her face. Sarah screamed while her form started to disappear, soon she was nothing but a blue light, and then... nothing.

"NO!" shouted Nick, his hands grabbing the dirt of the ground of his Heaven, while he sobbed for his wife death.

"Don't you worry, the fun isn't over," Lucifer kneeled on the ground next to Nick's baby who laid crying on the floor, "What do you say if you and I play a bit?" he said with a gooey voice.

"No, please no! I beg you!" cried Nick.

"You know torturing is not fun if you can't properly hear the creams. So why don't we give you... say, ten years," he touched Nick's baby and the boy quickly grew up into the body of a ten year old.

With one little twist of Lucifer's hands, the boy started screaming in pain.

"Please! Stop!" begged Nick crying.

"You know, one little word from you, and I'll stop," the screams from Nick's son intensified.

"The answer is yes! Yes!" shouted Nick sobbing.

"That's how I like it," said Lucifer smiling.

He grabbed Nick by the shoulder, and extending his wings he carried him to Earth. After rebuilding Nick's body, attaching the man's soul, and occupying his body again, Lucifer smiled.

"Isn't it good to be back?" grinned Lucifer, "So tell me, Nikki, do you like my new approach?" he asked and hardening his look, he added, "The good ol' devil you know is over."

.

The tattoo shop that Dean had chosen would not had been Cas' first choice. It was hidden in a dark and dirty gallery, and the shop's sign had clearly seen better times. However, according to the hunter it was the shop from one of his father's friends who had passed away a couple of years ago. Now the shop was ran by the son, who apparently had been the one that had done Sam and Dean's tattoos. So Cas trusted Dean's decision, but that didn't stop him from voicing his doubts.

"Are you sure, Dean?" asked the fallen angel.

"Yes, Cas," laughed the hunter, Cas looked almost as scared as when he had taken him to the 'Den of Inequity', "it's perfectly safe, I swear."

"Will it hurt?" wanted to know Cas.

This time Dean didn't laugh.

"I don't know Cas," he said honestly, "It depends, to some it hurts, to some it doesn't."

"Okay," trusted in him Cas.

Dean was the first to enter the shop, followed closely by Cas, so closely actually that their arms touched the whole time.

"Hey, Joe!" greeted Dean when he saw the shop owner. Joe was a caucasian man, somewhere around his thirties, save from his face every part of visible skin was covered in tattoos.

"You came for more, right?" asked the tattoo artist, "One tattoo with Joe and you want more!"

"Actually, I came for him," explained Dean pointing at Cas, "He needs the basic one."

"All right, take a seat," instructed Joe to the fallen angel, "Where do you want it?"

Cas looked at Dean.

"Where do you have it?" he asked the hunter, Dean pulled at the neck of his T-shirt and shirt, and showed his tattoo to Cas, "I want it there, then," he said, his eyes never leaving Dean's face.

Dean forgot how to breath for a moment, because Cas removing his shirt was definitely a sight. Cas' chest seemed to be sculpted by the greek gods themselves. Then he remembered that that body was technically Jimmy's, even though that was Cas' body, the body wasn't Cas. He recalled the time when Cas had been gone, and Jimmy had truly been in that body, he recalled how unattractive he had looked to him, how he had hated him. He understood that it wasn't Jimmy's body that he was attracted to, not really, he was attracted to him because it was Cas, because Cas was in that body. He wondered how those nipples would feel under his thumbs, or in his mouth under the caress of his tongue. He wondered if Cas would squirm or moan under his ministrations.

When he felt his dick starting to harden, he remembered he was in a public place and that soon Cas was going to have a needle piercing his skin. This was not the place nor the moment for such thoughts. When Joe started inking the anti-possession symbol on Cas, the ex-angel's eyes got all watered from tears of pain. Without thinking it, Dean grabbed Cas hand. The fallen angel locked his gaze with him, and didn't took it away until Joe was done.

"Alright, buddy, is done," said the tattoo artist patting Cas on the shoulder, "make sure to leave this dry for a few days and that's it," he said while he put a patch over Cas' new tattoo.

"Thank you, Joe," said Dean while Cas put back his shirt, "How much I owe you?"

"Nothing, man, it's on the house," he dismissed with a movement of his hands, "By the way, never imagined that you would find a boyfriend in this business," and before Dean could correct anything, he added, "Congratulations, man. I'm happy for you."

Dean looked at Cas who was waiting for him next to the door. For a moment, he wished that it was that simple. That Cas was just a fellow hunter, that he had met him in a salt and burn case, and when they were celebrating after the end of the case, and after a few beers he may had invited him to his bed. That later he discovered that he liked waking up to the blue-eyed hunter. And what had started as a one night stand turned out to be more. He wished for a few moments that it could have been all that way. But he learned long ago, that wishing was useless.

"Yeah, I'm one lucky bastard," he said and the weird thing, he actually meant it.

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Lucifer found his brother sitting on the edge of a cliff.

"So you got one of your vessels back, I see," said Michael feeling his brother approach without having to turn his head back to see him.

"Be glad that you were able to keep yours, big brother, it's a nuisance to have them to say yes again."

As Adam had been in the pit with them, and neither his soul nor body had left it before them. The consent thing hadn't reset for him and Michael. So he could wear his vessel with no problem.

"I guess with everything you had done, it was particularly difficult for you," commented the eldest archangel.

"Oh, but you know me, I can be very convincing," argued Lucifer.

"I know," smiled Michael, and though the archangel still didn't turn around, Lucifer felt it. Michael sighed, "Listen to me, brother, I've been thinking, this time, we don't have to fight," Lucifer listened to him in silence from behind, "Things have already been altered, we don't have to follow the same script than before."

"I agree with everything you said, Michael," said Lucifer getting closer.

"You and me... we can figure it out, Lucifer, we'll find a way. We'll start something new."

"Yes, brother, we won't fight again," agreed the devil getting closer, he took his blade from inside his jacket and stabbed Michael in the back, "I'll start something new and you're not in it," whispering to the now empty vessel of the archangel, he added, "I'm sorry, brother," and tears shone in his eyes.

When he drew out his blade from Adam's corpse, he remembered times shared with his brother in Heaven. With those memories fresh in his mind, he swore that he would make them paid. Sam Winchester would pay for casting them into the pit. Dean Winchester would pay for diverting the original plans from the Apocalypse. And Castiel, oh, sweet and darling Castiel, he would pay in full for siding with the humans, for being their Father's favorite. The three men would pay for orcing him to kill his brother in such fashion.

"I will avenge you, brother," promised Lucifer.

And like that, he was gone. On the ground, at the sides of Adam's body there was the burnt mark of a pair of wings. Above his head, a burnt halo finished the picture.

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**So, yeah, I remembered Adam and I killed him. Hooray for me!**  
**Anyway, this chapter end way more happy than intended thanks to the Destiel scenes, but overall it got a dark tone (or so I hope so), next chapter will also be dark and way less happy. But hey, never the idea of this fanfic was to write something happy, there's only one chapter that will be full of smut and fluff but it's way ahead and things won't go well after it. Wahahaha.**  
**Actually, the tattoo thing should have been earlier, before the face the demons in the last chapter, but I totally forgot so...**  
**I also can't remember if there was something that said that the 'yes' thing was not valid if it was under torture. But let's assume that it is still valid.**  
**I hope you liked it, that you feel like reviewing/commenting and that you stay tuned for more.**


	5. If Summer had no Fall

**Warnings: Torture/beating up and angst?**  
**I'm VERY sorry for how much it took me to upload this chapter. But I have an excuse. EXAMS. Big horrible exams. But here it is.**  
**And here's the meaning behind the chapter title:**

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**Chapter 5**

**The Devil's Game**

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It had started. There was no particular reason for it being tonight other than it was as good as any other. They had waited till it was dinner time, when one of the hunters always came to tell them that dinner was ready. They hid at the sides of their beds with the lights off. The hunter named Harry was the one that came for them this time, when he couldn't see them or hear them, he walked to the middle of the room instead of just a few steps in as he always did.

At Elisheva's signal, Jehoel charged forward and stabbed the hunter with his blade. As if they had been waiting for the sound of Harry's body hitting the floor, all the fallen angels came out of their hiding places.

Immanuel smiled. It had started.

In the dining room, none of the hunters were expecting the fallen angels that they had helped and given a place to stay to attack them. It was cold blooded murder, but none of the angels cared. Humans had never been nothing more than tools to most of them, and even now that they were humans themselves that hadn't changed.

As fate would have it, Immanuel had to face Gregory, the hunter that had found him in the first place.

"What's happening, pal?" asked him confused the hunter.

The answer was obvious, but Gregory was an old hunter with a good heart. And even if it was a lie, for the last moments he had left to live, he wanted to believe different than what was actually happening.

"I'm not your pal," said Immanuel stabbing the hunter in the heart.

Gregory's mouth got filled with his blood, he throbbed for air one last time and died.

Immanuel looked around him, his brothers and sisters were all covered in blood from the hunters whose bodies were now laying on the floor. The vengeance upon Castiel had started.

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"It's useless," said Sam after being directed to the voice mail for the fifth time, "I can't communicate with them."

"Do you think that they changed their phone number?" asked Dean who was sitting next to his brother.

As always between cases they were at the Bunker.

"All of them at the same time?" I doubt it," said Sam stretching his arms.

"It's been a week since anyone knew anything of them," stated Dean, "You have any ideas of someone who may be after your brothers and sisters?" he asked to Cas.

"Not that I know of particularly," answered Cas who was on the chair in front of Dean, "though some demons may want to take advantage of the fact that they're humans to extract information from them about Heaven. But I don't see the point for it considering that there are no more angels."

"We should go and check them out," argued Sam, "it's not usual of Gregory or Harry to not answer their phones."

"I don't think that would be a good idea," disagreed Dean leaning back with his chair.

"Why?" wondered Cas with a serious expression, after all they were talking about his brothers and sisters.

Dean had not told them about his conversation with Garth. He had not mentioned how the fallen angels were angry at Cas and how they may try to do some unpleasant things if they found him.

"Hmm..." doubted Dean, unable to find a good excuse in time.

"What Dean?" asked Cas again, this time fully knowing that there was something that the eldest hunter was specifically not telling him.

"Well, look, when I talked with Garth, he told me..." Dean was stalling because he knew that the fallen angels, despite being huge dicks, were still Cas' family, and he didn't want to hurt him. Because 'Oh, by the way, your family wants to hurt you and/or kill you' is not something that you drop off just like that.

"Dean..." warned him Cas.

"It's... they blame you, and I know it's not your fault, but they think so... and they're not happy, okay, Cas?"

"I see," was all that Cas said.

"I told you, it was not your fault," insisted Dean, "but try to make them understand. You and me, both know that they're some stubborn dickheads when they want to."

The fallen angel remained in silence for a while.

"I still think we should go and see what happened," said Cas.

"We don't have to do it ourselves," argued Dean, "we could tell Garth or some other hunter to check it out."

"Dean, I have caused the death of many of my brothers and sisters already. Many of them had been in self-defense, but others..." Cas gulped and when he raised his eyes to lock them with Dean's they were imploring for an absolution that was not in the power of the man in front of him to give him, "I cannot carry on my conscience more of their deaths. I need to know that they're fine."

"Alright, Cas," intervened Sam, "we'll go with you and check it out."

Dean wanted to protest, but a look from Sam was enough to put him in his place.

.

It was right already when Dean parked the Impala in front of the old storage that Gregory and co. where using as headquarters. On the inside, there were no lights on. Bad sign already.

"Have your guns ready," instructed Dean.

Sam gave his brother a bitchface for the obvious instruction, some things didn't change and his brother was still bossy. Once they had got off the car, neither of them uttered another word, they communicated just by signals and looks. At the beginning, it had been a bit hard for Cas, as now he didn't have the ability to look at the Winchesters' souls and read their emotions. However, thanks to the deep connection he had with both of them, specially with Dean, he got the hand of it fast.

The door of the building was open, as it gave in with just a soft push from Sam. The first thing that welcomed them was a strong putrid smell. Having to fight the urge to puke, the youngest hunter struggled until he found the light switch.

"This is a slaughter house," exclaimed Dean, covering his nose and mouth with his shirt.

"They're all dead," said Sam, his face twitching in disgust when his shoes got stick in the half-dry layer of blood.

"I cannot recognize any of them," informed Cas, if any of them was a fallen angel they were not on a vessel that he knew.

"No," said Sam, "they're all hunters."

"What the hell happened here?" asked Dean angrily, tired of the death of more of the people he knew.

"We need to continue looking," suggested Cas, "we have to find out if... the fallen angels are dead too," he finished, scared of the possibility of them being dead, as he saw it, it was his responsibility if they had been killed too.

"I swear that if this was_ their_ work, I-" threatened Dean.

Cas said nothing in response, but Dean's words cut deep into him. If this slaughter had been committed by his brothers and sisters, then he feared that once again he would have to chose between his family and humanity, between his kind and Sam and Dean. And he was tired of choosing. He had learned that with every choice there was always guilt to come by too. Besides, he knew that at the end, no matter if it was the right choice or not, his decision was already taken, as always.

Dean was the first to enter into the next room, the one that served as the fallen angels bedroom. Cas and Sam followed him a few moments later. But Dean was gone.

"Dean!" called both, Cas and Sam.

Silence was the only answer.

"Dean!" they both called again much more desperate this time.

A metal noise came from what it seem to be a side room. Both men rushed towards the direction of the noise, guns ready in their hands.

"Hello, Castiel," greeted him Elisheva.

The female angel stood holding a shotgun and guarding Dean, who had been chained to a wall. His head was bloody, probably from a blow to the head of when they captured him. His look was dangerous, he was sick and tired of angels. Cas felt relief when he looked into the eyes of the other man. Yes, they had captured him, but they had not broken him. Yet...

Five other angels were also guarding Dean, in their hands, they all held the guns that they had stolen from the dead hunters. Their blades were also being firmly grabbed. In a corner of the room, Cas recognized Naomi. She was sitting with his back against one of the walls, clutching her knees next to her chest, her eyes lost looking at something that was not there.

"I think we need to talk," said Elisheva, "But first, your weapons..." she finished pointing at Cas and Sam.

Both men slowly lowered their guns and once they were on the floor, they kicked him them forward.

"Castiel..." called him Elisheva, "your blade."

With a frown, Cas took out the blade from his jacket and lowered it to the floor too. He knew that it had been a very off chance of his little depiction to work, but still.

"Do you know who we are, dear Castiel? Do you recognize us?" Cas shook his head, "Allow me. My name is Elisheva, and there you have Laoel, Jehoel, Gzrel, Nuriel and Sophia. Do you remember your family, Castiel?"

Cas nodded slowly.

Elisheva smiled.

"Take him," she ordered.

Two other fallen angels that had been on the opposite side of the room, came from behind and grabbed Sam by his arms. The hunter knew that he could fight them, but considering that his brother was tied in chains and that the angels had all their current weapons, he didn't deemed it a wise idea. They took him next to Dean and tied him with a rope, apparently they were out of chains.

"Oh, and I forgot to introduce you, Uzziel and Immanuel," the woman paused, "Now, Castiel, I hope you know why we have gathered here,"

"I guess this is not a merry family reunion," answered the angel turned hunter.

"You're right," replied Elisheva, "Want a clue?"

With a signal of her hand, Jehoel hit Dean in the stomach with the butt of his shotgun. When Cas tried to run to his hunter's side, Immanuel and Uzziel held him back. Dean panted, trying to put back the much needed oxygen in his lungs.

"You know, Naomi has been very helpful," Elisheva told Cas, Naomi flinched when the other said her name, as if she was afraid that the woman would hurt her, "She told us many things, things like how much you care for those two," and when she pointed at them, Jehoel and Laoel, both hit Sam and Dean in their stomachs, "Specially, for him."

Jehoel firmly grabbed his shotgun and started beating Dean all over. The hunter was used to having his ass kicked, so he didn't scream in pain. Soon he was bloody and one of his eyes had swelled up.

The beating continued.

"Please, stop!" shouted Cas, while he tried to get free from the two angels holding him, "I beg you!"

"No, Castiel," said Elisheva, "You chose those two humans over your own family, now enjoy the consequences."

"Beat me instead, please!" shouted Cas when he saw that Dean was unresponsive to the hits. At the barely conscious hunter's side, Sam struggled to get free too.

"Oh, we'll get to that," exclaimed Elisheva.

"Please, let him go!" cried Cas falling to his knees, a couple of tears had already fallen from his eyes.

Slowly, Dean raised his head, and how poorly he could, he looked at Jehoel's face.

"What are you waiting for, dickhead?" he bluffed, "Do it!"

"No! Dean, no!" shouted both Sam and Cas.

Jehoel threw away his shotgun, that had the butt all bloody, and took out his blade. In the seconds that it took for the fallen angel to give the killing stab, a fast succession of things happened.

First, Naomi moved from her place in the corner and got in the middle. Then Jehoel shouted a "No!" and there was a struggle. At last, a woman's scream was heard. When Jehoel moved away with his blade covered in blood, Naomi was laying on the floor, a red spot spreading through her clothes on her chest.

In a final act of redemption, Naomi had saved Dean. The woman looked at Cas, who understood everything, and in her final breath, she found forgiveness.

Elisheva was livid.

"Look at what you have done!" she shouted, "Dean Winchester may corrupt everything he touches, but you destroy absolutely everything," she accused him, "How many more of your family will have to die because of you?" asked him Elisheva, "Take him," she ordered.

They locked Cas in a small toilet room. It was adjacent to where they were keeping Sam and Dean so he could hear the random muffles of when they hit either of them. He focused in order to not give in into despair after all he had been a soldier of God, he had conquered in Hell and rescued the Righteous Man. So he formulated a plan. It wasn't a masterpiece and it had many uncounted variables, but it was the best he'd got.

He waited till another fallen angel came for him. He had to be fast and precise. Once the other man had taken a few steps into the toilet room, he jumped on him. Cas took the gun from him and hit him in the head with it. The blow hadn't been enough to knock him out, it had just left him stupid for a while on the floor, but that was enough for Castiel. He opened the angel's jacket and took out his blade. Cas was a soldier trained in war so he knew that you didn't leave behind uncounted variables, so with a swift movement he slashed his brother's neck.

Next, he went to the one guarding the door. Before the angel knew what had hit him, Cas had stabbed her in the back. To not alert anyone, Cas accompanied the movement of the body to the floor. He prayed silently for forgiveness to a Father that he knew wasn't listening, before heading to the room where Sam and Dean were.

His next step, was to get in and somehow free Sam before they all fell on him. But the Winchester had beat him to it. He had managed to get free of his ties and was waiting for the right moment. Cas' entrance was it. Sam jumped on the angel next to him and disarmed him. Luckily for him, it was his own gun, and he was fast into shooting Elisheva. Not so luckily, he was a bit dizzy for the blows he had received in his head so he only hurt her in the arm. Even though she was only half-dealt with, the angel next to him was the biggest threat once more. Sam stopped with his arm the other's arm that was drawing his blade, and shot him in the head.

Meanwhile, Cas was dealing with one of his brothers and another one of his sisters. He was better at fighting than them, after all he had wore his vessel longer than them and had received training but they hadn't. So it had been relatively easy to slash her throat and to stab his brother in the heart. The sound of their bodies hitting the ground was another stone in Cas' bag of guilt.

Immanuel watched his brother and sister die, and thought if their revenge at Castiel was truly worth it. After all, they had this one chance, and after everything they've done, he doubted that they were going to return to Heaven. However, his time for regrets was over when Sam stabbed him.

"Who are you?" he asked scared.

"We're the Winchesters," replied Sam, consciously including Cas as one of them.

Sam turned around and saw Elisheva coming at him, but the fallen angel didn't reach him because Cas stabbed her in her stomach.

"See you in Hell, Castiel," she said and even dying as she was, she gave him a bloody smile when she saw the way that Cas' features crisped at her words.

With hate as her last emotion, she died. Not Sam, nor Cas noticed how Jehoel escaped and ran away.

"Dean..." exclaimed Cas rushing to the hunter's side, who was barely conscious.

"Nice way of kicking ass," he said with a very faint voice, "I could have helped," he laughed.

"Don't speak," shushed him Cas while he desperately turn around to look at Sam retrieving the keys from Elisheva's clothes.

"Here, Dean," said Sam while he struggled to free his brother, "Just a moment and we'll get you to some help," he comforted him.

"I don't need help," complained Dean stubborn as ever.

"It's alright," calmed him Sam, while he took his brother by the legs.

He and Cas dragged Dean to the backseat of the Impala.

"If I stain the car with blood, Dad's gonna come and hunt down my ass," joked Dean, his laugh stained with blood.

"What are you doing?" asked Cas to Sam, who was grabbing something from the trunk of the car.

"They deserve a hunter's funeral," explained Sam pointing at the store house, "and we don't want the others returning as ghosts."

"Good point," admitted Cas.

"I'll be back in a sec, hand on," said Sam while he left carrying fuel and salt.

Cas waited for Sam in the backseat, holding Dean's head over his lap. He caressed the hunter's head while silent tears came down his cheeks. His Dean was hurt and there was nothing he could do to heal him. Guilt and pain washed over him while he he prayed for his human to not die. At the end, he had gotten Dean hurt, on what could be the edge of death. He would not leave Dean's side till they went to the hospital, until he knew that the hunter was out of danger and then... then he would stay. He had made a promise, and that promise bid him. He made his decision hugged to the fainting body of Dean.

His blue eyes were shining with tears and coldness.

A crack had appeared inside of Cas.

.

Sam carried in his arms the unconscious body of his big brother into the hospital's ER.

"Help! We've been mugged! Help!" he shouted as short explanation.

Several nurses and a doctor came in pushing a stretcher. They helped him to put Dean on it and they left, hurriedly instructing them to stay in the waiting room. As soon as the hunter was out of sight, Cas fell to the floor grabbing his head in his hands.

"Hey, hey, Cas!" called him Sam kneeling on the floor next to his friend.

Silent sobs wrecked through Cas' body.

"This is all my fault," said Cas, his voice slick with guilt.

"No, Cas, no. Please don't go there," asked him Sam, "I know that everything you learned about being human was from us, but... don't feel guilty about what you don't have to, okay? It's not the first time we got ourselves in a situation like this and it probably won't be the last, okay?"

"You heard them, Sam. They almost killed him just because I- I-" was unable to continue Cas, but Sam heard his unspoken confession.

"I know, but even so..." said the hunter and sighed, "Cas... if you keep adding guilt on you, it's going to fill you up and it's going to consume you and..." the fallen angel raised his eyes, and Sam saw the deep pain on then, "Come, let's sit properly," he said getting up and raising Cas with him.

They sat on the chairs that were there and waited. It was the first time, that being in a situation like this, Sam had to be the strong one. Before, when his brother had been like this, he had his father or Bobby to rely on, he had been able to cry. When it had been Bobby the lying one in a hospital bed, he had been able to be the little brother and rest on Dean fulfilling his role of big brother. Now, however, he had to hide his sadness and be strong. He was the one that was holding Cas up, so he couldn't come crushing down. He couldn't do it because of his friend, but also because of his brother. He knew how much Cas meant to Dean, and he couldn't let down his brother again.

"Here," said Sam offering a cup of coffee from a machine to the fallen angel.

The angel too it and drank in small sips. Sam looked at his friend and remembered how powerful he had been the first time he had met him, and now he seemed so small, so weak, so human... Despite he was now taking care of him, at least in a way, Sam didn't fool himself, he didn't thing that he was being like a big brother to Cas. He would never be able to fill in what Dean had taught him that a big brother was. He was just doing a very bad attempt of comforting a friend. But he sucked at it. He couldn't do this on his own.

The doctor came in some time later and told them that Dean was out of danger. They could see him now, but he was resting and he shouldn't be disturbed. When Cas tried to enter the room, he was stopped by the doctor.

"Only family," he said.

"He's his husband," lied Sam to the doctor in a beat.

"Okay," agreed the other and let them both in.

.

Seeing Dean in a hospital bed without him being able to do anything to change it had hit hard on Cas. Even with Sam's support, the fallen angel was spiraling down into a pit of depression, self-hate and guilt. Not only he had put Dean in a hospital because he had sinned and fallen in love with a human that he had been supposed to just take care of. But even as a human, he kept killing more of his brothers and sisters. He didn't understand why his Father had brought him back after Raphael had killed him. He was a disgrace and he didn't deserve to continue living.

He looked at Dean sleeping in the bed, still swelled up and sighed again, hiding his face between his hands. Elisheva had been right. He destroyed everything he touched.

"Hey, I thought I had been the one beaten up to death," said Dean waking up, "You look like shit."

"Dean," exclaimed Cas sitting up in the chair where he had been sulking, next to the hunter's bed.

"Hey," greeted him Dean.

"You're awake," said Cas grabbing Dean's hand and gently touching the side of the hunter's head, letting his hair slip through his fingers.

They stared at each other for a long time, until Dean checked out his best friend and spoke.

"Have you decided that you are a hippie now?" he said looking at Cas' new clothes, a light blue loose shirt and an old jean.

The fallen angel chuckled.

"Dean, I have been a genderless angel for several millenia. Your human labels hardly apply to me, even now when I'm one."

"Still... here I am, in what could have been my dying bed, and you go _shopping_," joked the hunter.

However, all traces of humor disappeared from Cas' features.

"The other clothes- I couldn't use them anymore," confessed the angel.

"Why?"

"They had your blood on them," said Cas, and the hunter didn't need to know anything else.

"Hey, Cas, it's okay, you know?" told him Dean, "I know why they did what they did, and it's okay..." even after all this time he had trouble voicing his feelings, "They're dicks and I don't blame you for what they did, okay?"

Cas sighed, his eyes were filled with tears, he nodded once to let him know that he had heard what the hunter said. But it was clear that he wasn't buying it.

"Cas, I mean it," said Dean, "You- you- it's okay. I- I-" but his confession was interrupted by his brother entering the room.

"Dean, you're awake," he said approaching to his brother in long strides.

"Hey, Sammy!" said Dean, missing already the comforting warmth of Cas' hands on him.

"How are you feeling?" asked him Sam.

"Better than ever," answered Dean with sarcasm, "like I'm in a spa."

Dean knew that Sam was talking to him, but he couldn't pay attention to his brother's words. Instead, he looked at Cas. The fallen angels had beaten him up because they had known that he was special to Cas, that Cas was in love with him... Even if the circumstances hadn't been the best, he felt relief. Now, he knew for sure.

The realization would have felt warmer inside him, if he hadn't noticed how internally broken Cas was.

.

.

.

.

.

* * *

**Okay, so I do hate myself.**  
**I mean, this chapter was never supossed to be happy. The main idea was "Cas has to kill more of his brothers and sister, he feels guilty". But it was meant to add A BIT more of guilt not this. But somehow along the way it transformed into this and I hate myself. I think it's time for me to grab my bags and go to Vancouver and be a writer of the show because fuck.**  
**I hope that you liked Naomi's ending. I hadn't truly forgotten her even after her scene in Sacrifice because to me she regretted that her ways didn't work but not her ways. So I have her a chance for redemption.**  
**Immanuel was supossed to be more of a bigger character, but somehow Jehoel came in and stole the spotlight (he's going to appear again), and then the scenes were almost done and Immanuel hadn't got that much participation, not as I would have liked.**  
**I also hope that you think I'm handling Sam's character well, altough the main idea of this fic is Destiel and that's why there's always is at least one Destiel scene per chapter, I also want to explore the plot and other character. And I love Sam, so sadly for him, that means that there not many happy moments for him.**  
**And... Hippy!Castiel. You know what that means. Because yes, it's going that way.**  
**Once more, I'm sorry for the delay, but I had exams and I had a lot to study. Now, chapters will be again be posted at one per week, at least until I have exams agains.**  
**Thank you for bearing with me, and I hope you like it enough as to leave a review or a comment. :)**


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